Gazpacho vs. Gestapo

Shayne: "I put all the vegetables in the blender and then put them in a pot. Do you want some? It's like Gestapo. That soup."

Me: "Um, no...see, Gestapo is Nazi police. Gazpacho, on the other hand, is a Spanish vegetable soup that's traditionally served cold."

Shayne: "Oh. And I'm cooking it, so it's not even cold. Do you want some?"

Me: "No, thanks. The peppers were moldy. I can't eat them."

Shayne: "But I'm cooking them. Doesn't that make a difference?"

Me: "I don't want to risk it. I'm already sick." *Tuberculosis-like coughing fit*

Shayne: "Hey! Nobody gave you permission to die. You should eat tons of garlic. It will make you better. You should make garlic tea."

Me: "Yeah. That will help my social life. No, I don't want to stink."

Shayne: "But it will make you better. You've been sick forever. You should eat a bulb of garlic. Maybe there's a recipe online for garlic tea that you would like."

Me: "I don't wanna. I'll smell like rotting garlic."

Shayne: "Well too bad. You need to get better."

Me: "Can't I just have some gazpacho?"

Shayne: *Guffaws* "Don't you mean Gestapo? I'm sure Gestapo would be much yummier."

Me: "No! Remember that lady I used to work with, the nutritionist? She gave me a recipe for V8 gazpacho where you just blend the V8 with some other veggies and four cloves of garlic. I would much rather do that."

Shayne: "But that's hardly any garlic. You need more than that. You should eat the whole bulb."

Me: "I don't want to."

Shayne: "Then you can kill everyone with your stench."

Me: "No. I told you, when I eat raw garlic it gives me really stinky gas."

Shayne: "And you can set off the carbon monoxide detector with your gas. It will say, 'gross! You stink! Come on!'"

Me: "I'd rather not."

Shayne: "It'll be fun."

Me: "No. It won't."

Shayne: "It will."

Me: "No. Really, it won't."

Shayne: "Hey! You could put a whole bulb of garlic in the gazpacho and then eat it with the Gestapo. Isn't that a good idea?"

Me: *Facepalm*