So, While I was lamenting my inability to fit in here in Logan, I got a friend request on facebook from a girl whose name I didn't recognize. Her profile picture didn't have her in it, so it took me a couple days to figure it out. The name I didn't recognize? It was the married name of one of my oldest friends, who disappeared into the ether years ago. I had searched for her several times on myspace and facebook but had eventually drawn the conclusion that she didn't want to be found. Or maybe she just hated computers. I didn't know.
Anyway, we had a mad texting party and started catching up, and suddenly my life started to seem so adventurous and cool, exactly how I had wanted to script it. I mean, I lived in Seattle for two years just because I wanted to. I got tattoos back in college, I eloped with my husband, I work in a warehouse that processes craft supplies. My husband and I are living on a shoestring and going to grad school, and I come home smelling like perfume every day.
I still stings to have been rejected by the league of mormon housewives. Sorry I can't be precisely like them. God made me such a unique snowflake that when "normal" people look at me all they can see is a bizarre ugliness. This is the first time that mormons have ever come right out and asked me not to be their friend anymore because I don't fit in. Usually they just glare at me and whisper to each other about the color of my lipstick and how inappropriate my hairdo is. Oh, if my father were alive he would have had a heyday. It would have been perfect fodder for his anti-mormon sentiments and his similes with the pharisees. Whited sepulchres and all that.
On the other hand, it's worth noting that when I did ask for help, at least six people popped out of the interwebs, some of them within minutes, to offer comfort. And every last one of them was mormon. So if I'm tempted to ask, 'where are my relief society sisters when I need them? Where is the charity that never faileth?' Now I know. It's right here. Just not where I expected to find it. There are mormon women who aren't threatened by tattoos and a non-lds upbringing.
And for charity that never faileth? I've never known a better example of it than my old friend who put up with me when I was a broken person, before my years of prayer and therapy and careful wiring to fit the pieces back together. If you know how strange and difficult I am now, imagine me without any social skills or life skills at all. She didn't give up.
So I won't either.
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