What's Your Most Embarrassing Moment?

I cringe when I hear this question. I can never remember enough embarrassing things to really amuse those who ask. I do have very embarrassing moments, quite frequently in fact, but I work so hard at just shrugging them off that I end up forgetting. I tell everyone and try to make it as funny as I can, and then it all turns into a big joke that we all laugh at. Then I move on.

I do have a couple of work stories from Healthways that my coworkers reminded me about so often I can't help but remember. Healthways was a call center, and I would make outbound calls and introduce myself. So one day I got a call and I said, "Hello, my name is Cydni, I'm calling to speak with Stephen." Only I didn't say "speak with." No, that would have been, you know, correct. For no good reason, the words that came out of my mouth were these: "Hello, my name is Cydni. I'm calling to sleep with Stephen." Aaagh! I was talking to the man's wife! I was terribly embarrassed and I apologized all over myself. The lady was polite and told me her husband wasn't home. After that call ended, I reminded myself over and over to say my script correctly, but I ended up doing it a couple more times and I decided to change my scripting to different verbage, like saying I'm calling for Stephen.

Another time, after transferring a customer to my supervisor, my sup came back and let me know that the customer had guessed from my voice and demeanor that I'm a redhead. We found this amusing, and I was thinking about it when my next call came in. "Hello, my name is Cydni. I'm a representative from Wellmark Blue Cross Blue Shield calling for Susan." Only I didn't say representative. I said, "I'm a redhead from Wellmark Bue Cross Blue Shield." Oh, dear. My customer cracked up laughing, as did the coworkers sitting around me.

Indeed. The story of my life is explained most clearly by a Far Side comic where a man stands at the back of an orchestra thinking, "This time I won't screw up, I won't screw up, I won't screw up..." But he's holding only one cymbal in his hands. The caption reads, "Rodger screws up." That's me. I concentrate so hard on not screwing up that I just screw it up worse. Le sigh.

But I'm not the only one who does embarrassing things! I know this because I read Laurie Notaro and I know that I am, in fact, what Laurie terms an "Idiot Girl." I'm OK with this. Or at least, I'm learning to be OK with it.

All right, I really want to hear other people's embarrassing moments. Would you tell me a story?