It's easy to see when the door closes, but where is the window?

I went to Qwest for my interview today, and everything was going really well, right up until they told me they didn't want to hire me. It seems I didn't pass the entrance test. Now, I felt confident about the customer service and general knowledge sections of the test. I feel that my answers to the survey questions must be what disqualified me. Like where they ask what I would do if my coworker were stealing from work or something. unfortunately, there is no feedback available to indicate exactly why I failed.

I feel surprised. I genuinely expected to get the job. Call centers have always been my old standby. I hate them with every fiber of my being, and I used to compare my job at Convergys with a dysfunctional, codependent relationship that neither one of us could ever break off. But they have just...always been there. When I need them. Not comforting, exactly, but dependable.

As I drove out of the Qwest parking lot, I caught myself laughing delightedly and grinning with relief. They don't want me! Heaven be praised! I can't even apply again for another six months! Glorious!

I pondered the idea that perhaps Father is closing this door for me. Maybe, just maybe, He's making it so I can't continue my dysfunctional job behavior. I've never adapted to the rigors of call center life, and I truly believe I never will. I will always be too sensitive, too easily hurt for this line of work. I can't harden my heart -- believe me, I've tried. For years. I'm too much myself, and I can't change the pattern of what I am.

All right. Qwest is over. But what now? I see that door closing, and I have no problem with it -- on the contrary, I feel relieved. But where is the window? I will need a job of some sort.

I stopped at SOS Staffing on the way home from Qwest and was told point blank that they are not doing any interviews these days because there are no jobs out there. Another closed door. All right. Today I discovered two places not to get a job.

maybe it's odd that my lapsed faith should stir at a time like this, but I feel oddly peaceful to know that my sure thing was a mirage. I wasn't meant to be there anyway, and I knew it when I applied. Still...Where can I go from here? My experience is mostly in call centers. What new line of work can I enter, knowing that my back won't hold up to a job on my feet? I need a window.