I Had A Job And I Liked It

Majestic Mountain Sage has fired me, and it hurts. I feel like I haven't been doing very well at all since we arrived in Utah. I feel like I don't belong here. There is something about me that many Utahns just don't like, but they seem unable to really define it. I would really like to ge back to Washington, with its culture of diversity and acceptance and courteous drivers. I held a job there for three years.

It makes me sad! I really liked working there. I was going to buy a lot of stuff from them to make christmas presents. Now? I don't really want to have anything to do with them. There's not much I could do, that would fit in with my personal code of ethics, to let MMS know I don't like them. I suppose withdrawing my business would be as much punishment as I could muster.

So what did I do to get fired? I wasn't happy enough. I mean, I guess I can understand where they're coming from. I struggle with clinical depression, and since we came to Utah I've felt like I'm trapped in the low mood where everything hurts my feelings and I just can't seem to think clearly. But I was getting better because I HAD A JOB I LIKED. I was doing better.

Ugh. Now I will try to find volunteer work, I think. I'll try to get on unemplyment and focus on volunteering for awhile and try to get better before I reenter the jobhunting fray. I'll get a library card from the USU library and discover a wonderful selection of books to increase my vast knowledge of obscure details about...everything. I'll finally get down to studying for the GRE and just get it done no matter how much I dread the silly test. I'll take a sewing class. I'll go back for my Matser's Degree, since I feel like that's the direction in which my life is pushing me. And most importantly, I simply must write. I must write my books. I was three volumes into a series when I gave up to give my schooling my undivided attention, and now that I'm fully trained as a writer I must do so. Writing is the strongest impulse I feel. So I will, and this time I'm not kidding around. I'm going to finish my books and start the process of getting them published.